Hello one, hello all.

In an act of desperation after seeing his site views begin to plateau, our Prez, Ya Boy, has decided to expand his IPGFFT (catchy, isn’t it?) (yeah, I know it’s not) (if you split it up so it’s IPG-FFT it kinda rhymes though) team from one to three. While the other contributor is feeble, boring, and overall just one of the worst human beings I have ever had the displeasure of meeting, I will be the savior of this site. Hmm, that doesn’t seem to adequately describe just how important and beloved I will grow to be as a contributor to IPGFFT. How about the LORD and savior? Yeah, that seems more appropriate. A few years down the line you will all look back at this day fondly, the day your lives were forever changed, the day you were introduced to YEET JESUS.

So, let me tell you all a little bit about myself. Much like Ya Boy, I’m  a Central New York native who is now wasting his life away in a cube farm. However, unlike Ya Boy, I have actually been able to escape the desolate, snowy wasteland that is our hometown for greener pastures. Well, there’s not a whole lot of green here actually. More like pastures filled with annoying accents, traffic patterns that will make you suicidal, and the worst sports fans in the continental United States. Well, if you count the Celtics then I guess there is some green. Anyway, I reside in the greater Boston area. Where exactly? That’s for me to know, and the prettiest of you to find out.

I’m a sports fan, faithfully following the good (Syracuse basketball, Cleveland Indians, Philadelphia 76ers), the bad (Syracuse football), and the ugly (Cleveland Browns).

Music plays a rather large role in my life, and every Friday I attempt to listen to all the new relevant music that I can find (or at least that is available on Spotify). #NMFBitches. I’m open to any genre, yet hip hop and EDM seem to be the ones that I am most drawn to. Except country, fuck country.

Additionally, while on the topic of music, I firmly believe that Juicy J is the greatest musician of our generation, and dare you to try to persuade me otherwise. His lyricism (“Slob on my knob/like corn on the cob”, “my bitch ask me do I love her/I tell her yes”, “and that pussy ain’t that good shit just was alright/had to call my homie and tell him that it just all hype” ) brings a tear to my eye every time I listen to one of his masterpieces that us laymen refer to as ‘songs’. He is an absolute poet whose talent will never be even remotely rivaled.

Anyway, my boss would like for me to do some actual work, so I guess I’ll have to wrap up. Essentially, I don’t know exactly what I’ll be writing about on IPGFFT. It’ll likely be focused around sports and music, with a few personal anecdotes, but to be honest who the fuck really knows. Just so long as it keeps my attention away from my farty cube life.

As YEET JESUS, it will be my pleasure to bless you all multiple (?) times a week (??). Maybe more or less frequently. Who knows. Who gives a shit.

-YJ

(P.S. if you’re looking for someone to follow on Twitter that tweets something moderately amusing once every couple of months or so, @CrampyRatPoison is your guy. And that’s definitely not me. Nope. No way. Although I wish I had half the sense of humor that that guy has. He’s also incredibly dreamy. I get lost in his eyes. So, all in all, a solid Twitter follow.)