So I’ve decided to join the blog game. This brilliant idea came to me as I sat at my desk aimlessly staring at my email inbox, empty because I’m the new guy fresh out of the primordial ooze known as higher education and no one trusts me with anything important (rightfully so). I’m fairly certain this mindless staring at an LCD screen is rotting my brain so how about some writing to keep this young mind sharp.
Let’s start with some introductions! That was always one of my favorite annual events in college, taking a group of adolescents who at least on the surface had nothing in common besides the fact they lived within 100ft of each other and would be hounded by the same narc chasing the dragon of tattling like their days as a young pup in middle school, and making them give their elevator pitch as to why they’re not going to be “that guy” or “that girl,” it’s 2018 so individuals of both genders have equal opportunity to suck. But this little pre-emptive AA meeting was your first chance to size everyone up. Who’s the kid that’s blatantly stoned at 2pm on a Thursday that’ll you’ll no doubt want to have in your contacts list but not actually hang out with? Who’s the jabroni already decked out in your schools apparel? Congrats you’ve identified “that guy.” Who’s the cute girl on the other side of the circle who you’ll swap fluids with later this week after a night of wine coolers and keystone only to end up avoiding eye contact for the next 4 years? Who’s the dude wearing a SHIRT, not a jersey, repping your favorite pro sports team? That’s ya boy. That’s who I’m going to be, ya boy, and if I’m not then oh well. On to the next one.
I won’t get too personal with this because the internet is a fucked up place and I don’t need some Buffalo Bill impersonator tracking me down and chaining me up in the shed. I already told you I’m fresh out of school so chalk me up for the early 20’s demographic. Creativity has always been a strong suit of mine but being creative is pretty easy when you have an entire writer’s room of voices shouting in your head. Sike! They’re not shouting, they’re pretty well-mannered with each other…jokes folks, we like to keep the mood light around here. It’s depressing enough wasting away in a cube farm without a little dark humor thrown in here and there. I was never one for social media so maybe this is me subliminally trying to catch up with my contemporaries on dishing out blazing hot takes or maybe this is my attention starved millennial spirit finally breaking through, thought I ditched that guy a while back. Really though this is just my way to entertain all of you, and more importantly myself. Like I hinted at earlier, I have a lot of spare time while contributing to the 401k and I can only talk to Bob about the Padres game I didn’t watch so many times before I feel the sudden urge to stick a pencil in my eye.
So what should you expect to see while you’re here? Well to be frank it’ll be a mixed bag. Some sports talk, some stories, some life shit, a smattering a poop jokes and whatever else I feel like writing about. This is my party and ya’ll are invited, stop on by and make yourselves comfortable but just remember that I’m the one manning the aux chord. So grab a cold *insert future official beer of I’ll Probably Get Fired For This* and enjoy the ride.
Holla at ya boy
Twitter: @LlFired
I'll Probably Get Fired For This 